Love Babies in PJ's!

Best Buds!

Bedtime kisses!

Just "chillin" in my PJ's!

Bath, PJ's, Milk, Bed!

So ready for bed!

Teething Cheeks!

Love these PJ's~

Keeping a busy mind

My mind is always running.  Most of the time, it runs faster than I can follow it.  Joe will ask me "What are you thinking about?", and sometimes I will give him the "run down", other times I will just say "nothing".  The "run down" might look something like this:  I saw that sign, and it made me think of that day we went for a walk, and that house we saw, with the orange cat, which made me think of our cat, and so I started to wonder about the pets that we have had, and what pets we will have, and now I am thinking about when we can move, and if we will get more pets!  Exhausting, right? 
Today this is on my mind, because last night I woke up around 2:30am.  Alex has been crying in his sleep more, and I always hear him.  It's only for a second, so I think maybe he is dreaming, or just cried because he woke up for a second.  I don't know.  Well it woke me up enough that I started to think, and then I couldn't go back to sleep.  The last thing that I talked to Joe about, before bed, was the kids, so I think that was why they came to my mind.  Or it could be, because I am always thinking about them. 
Since I could not fall back asleep I just laid there thinking about what it would be like with them in our home.  I was wondering what all would change, and what might stay the same (I'm guessing nothing will stay the same).  I thought a little about what it would be like once they left, if it came to that.  I try not to think that far ahead.  I know about the heartbreak, it's part of the foster care package, right?  No point in stressing over that.  I mostly wonder if they will ever even be in our home.  We will not know for sure until after our license comes back, which will be about a month. 
I got an email from our social worker, yesterday that said our report is done.  Now she hands it in to her boss to be proof read, and then it gets mailed into the state.  They hope to have it on it's way by the end of the week.  She said the last one they sent in took about a month to come back, so that is what they are going off from, as a time frame. 
Now, how do I keep my mind busy for the next month?  I don't really have a problem at home, or on the weekends.  It's really at work, and when I wake up in the night that I have the worse problems.  I remember reading once that you should write down everything that you are worrying about, right before you go to bed, as a way of getting it out of your head.  Seems to me that would bring it all to the front of my head and give me more to worry about!  I think I might try it for a few days, though.  I don't think it could hurt.

March

Flash back January 2010, my sweet baby Alex!

It's March!  Today I wish it was April!  I wrote a Ten for Tuesday back in February, so I thought I would do it again.  I am not a big fan of these "ten for Tuesdays", but when you are having a hard time blogging, I think it works out great!

1.  I really don't have a single feeling about March!  It's got St. Patrick's day (which we don't do anything for), so other than that it's not a special month for me!  There are no birthday's in my family, and it's not yet spring!  This year March holds a lot of questions for me, and I will be happy when it is over.


2. Speaking of questions......I wish I had all the answers  I am trying to trust in God, and let him guide us in this process of fostering, but I am such a control freak.  It's been really hard to just let go, and not question what will happen.  I feel like things will be much more clear in April!

I think Alex will be a big help with his new baby cousin!

3. I just thought of something that is exciting this month!  My little sister's baby shower will be in March.  She is due to have a little boy in May, and I am really excited for her shower.

4. We thought we were going to be done with the foster care application presses by March, but it didn't work out that way.  Our Saturday class got canceled and now we will have one more class March 8th.  I turned in another pack of paperwork today, but it looks like that still wasn't all of it.  We will have one more visit on Friday to test our water, and one more class.  I hope to have the last of the paper work in this week, and then we should be done on the 9th.

5. I think about Alex's siblings everyday.  It's hard to think about them being in a foster home, and I wish they were here with us.  I think about how much Alex would love to have them at home with us, and I wonder if they will come to be with us forever.  At lunch today Sarah (5) said to me "I wish Alex had a sister".  I said "He does", and she said "I know, but I wish he had a sister that lived with him".  It broke my heart, and reminded me what it really means for Alex to have a brother and sister who do not live with us.  Not only do they not live with us, but they live in a foster home.  It all makes me so sad!  Sarah went on to talk about Joe and I adopting a baby girl.  I have not told the girls (that I nanny) about us being licensed for foster care.  They know what foster care is, but there are still so many unknowns, that I do not what to try to explain the whole thing to them, yet. 

6.  It's really nice out today!  The sun is shinning, and it is almost 40, which is not too bad.  I have a window open, and the fresh air feels really nice.  I wish I was at home cleaning, with the windows open, but I am not at home so instead I am cleaning at work with the windows open.

7. Alex is still climbing everything!  He is falling less, though, which is good.  The silly thing is that he also still loves to tell on himself!  Today we was standing on a chair and calling out to me.  He wasn't saying a word, but just by the sound alone I knew we wanted me to look.  When I saw him I told him to sit down, and he does, and he laughs, and as soon as I look away he stands up and calls me again!  Fun game for him.

Sarah wants curly hair so bad, so I spent an hour curling her hair. 

 

 8. I am a nanny, for what I am guessing, was me when I was her age!  It's weird for me!  We are so much a like, so you would think it would be easy for me to deal with her, but instead it's a lot of work!  One of our big issues is the need for us both be right.  I know, I know...she is five, and I am 30 so I should let it go, and let her be right, and sometimes I can, but sometimes I can't.  I love her to pieces, and I will keep working on our relationship!






9. I am a nanny for an (almost) 7 year old who is really growing into a beautiful young girl.  Everyday at 4 we work on homework together, and I love this time with her.  I love when she reads books just right, and the proud look on her face.  I love when she slips up on words and she looks to me for help.  I will miss our homework time this summer!

Poor Jenna, with carpet burn on her nose and forehead.

10.  I am a nanny for a 2 year old, and she is not how I pictured she would be, when I started watching her at 2 months old!  She has more sass than both her sisters put together.  He favorite saying is "Leave alone".  She sucks her thumb and twirls her hair in the cutest way.  Before nap time she sits in my lap and we read 3 books together.  When I say "upy upy little puppy" she knows it's time for nap, and she never fights it.  She is the sweetest little cuddlier, and the sassiest little 2 year old, all in one!

A little taste of spring.

How could you NOT miss this face?

 (This post was written on Feb25th)

Last week we had a little taste of spring!  We had about 5 days of nice weather.  It was warm enough to melt almost all of the snow.  I even got the kids out for a walk one day, which felt so nice!  I knew it wasn't going to last, but now I want spring to come more then ever!  This past weekend we got another snow storm, and it made it look like we never had that taste of spring last week!  The grass is all covered again, and so is our driveway.  I wish I would have taken pictures.  It's crazy that it took a week to melt it, and only 1 night to put it all back!
We took Alex out to play while we shoveled, and he loved it!  I think he is going to be so happy when spring comes too! He has so much energy, and his favorite thing to do is to run.  I can picture him darting all over our yard!  I think he is going to love the freedom of exploring our fenced in backyard!
Speaking of running.....we took him to get his first pair of big boy sneakers!  We put them on him in Tar.get so we could see how he would do in them.  He seemed pretty surprised to be out of the cart at first, but then he took full advantage of it.  He was running up and down every isle.  It was funny watching him.  Every time he passed by another person they would just smile or giggle.  He is so short, so he looks really funny running around.  Needless to say he loves his new shoes.  The next day at work he kept stomping around in them.
I have had to spend more time away from Alex this week, then in his whole life!  It's both really hard, and yet a little easier than I expected.  The first day was Saturday.  We had class from 9-5, and Joe's mom was in town so she watched Alex at our house.  In the middle of class Joe asked me how I was doing, and I told him it kind of felt nice.  It was the first time, in a long time that I could do something without feeling that pressure to always have 1 eye on Alex.  Not only that, but I was so focused on the class, that the problem I have of always stressing about things, was gone.  (It's hard to explain this feeling I have.  So I will save all of that for another post)

Alex unplugged the lamp and "re-plugged" it into Jenna's boot!

Is it spring yet?  I'm ready to get outside!

The next two nights were Tuesday and Thursday.  The first night my sister came over to play with him.  This night it was also okay, because we had had a very long stressful day, so it was nice to be able to unwind and just listen to the speaker for 3 hours.  Thursday was a little harder for me.  Joe is home this week, so we split Alex on Thursday.  I took him to work for the first half of the day, and then Joe brought him home for the second half.  When I got home at 5:30 Alex started to giggle and then hug me and pat my back.  It's times that he does that, that make it hard for me to feel okay about leaving him.  He has this way of showing me that he missed me, and it breaks my heart to think about him missing me!  Now today he is at home with Joe all day, so I only had about ten minutes to see him this morning.  I will be happy to get home tonight, and spend some time with him. 
Tomorrow we have class from 9-5 again, so he is going to a friends house.  I will be glad when tomorrow is over!  Thursday nights class was not very good, and I am getting burned out on working, and taking all these classes.  I am feeling the winter blues today, and just want it to be spring.  I want to be done with these classes, and spending so much time away from Alex.  I want to have our licenses, and be done feeling like I always have something to do.  I am ready to have a week of no plans, no where I have to be (other then work), and nothing I have to get done.  I just want 1 week of normal again! 

I said that I love February, but this year I can not wait for February to be OVER!