5:43 is not 6!

I got lucky and was let out of work at 2:30 today. My boss was taking the girls to a Halloween party, and said I could go home and freak out until our meeting. On the way home I went to look at a crib and dresser set off from craigs list. It was just down the road from us, and Joe knew where I was going, so we didn't mind me going alone. I loved the set, and we will be picking it up on Sunday. The women even invited me to join the neighborhood mom's group that they have. In the group is a women who has adopted. I told her that I work a lot, but would love to do things on weekend and evenings. After that I headed home, but first I walked next door to tell the nice older couple, that we have become friends with, our news. They were very excited and I ended up staying over there and talking for almost an hour!

Naturally, I felt a panic after all the time I had wasted over at the neighbors. I started running around my house trying to let the dogs out, take a shower, let the dogs back in, blow dry my hair, curl my hair, put half my make-up on, straighten my hair, get Baxter out from under the spare bed; throw away the pen, hair clip, and glue stick he had found and taken under there; put more make-up on, get dressed, freak out because my nylons are a strange color, pick out jewelry to wear, sit down and see that it is only 5:05 and now I have to sit and wait until 5:50!
I did find things to do during that time. Mostly I messed with my hair. Then I made Joe stand up next to me and take about 15 pictures until we took one I liked. What do you think? Would you want us to parent a child you could not?

On the drive there, both Joe and I were freaking out! He said "OK, now I am nervous". I was shaking my hands, trying to get all my nerves out. I was laughing like a crazy person, and Joe was saying funny stuff that was making me laugh even harder. We were checking out every women on the street to see if it might be her. When we got there we both realized that we were really early. It was only 5:43, but we went in anyway.

Right away our SW came out and got us, and she took us back to a small room. I sat down in one corner, Joe in another and our SW in the other, and the door was in the other corner. It was a small room. There was an end table between Joe and I, and a rolling chair in front of me. She asked if we had any questions, and I'm sure we said we didn't, but I think I came up with a few. I can not remember what it was I asked. After a few minutes she said she was going to go see if the birth mom and her SW were ready. Before she left I requested a room with a table so that I could hid behind it, and so I could hid my shacking hands under it. She laughed and said that would be fine. We felt oddly calm after that and just waited. But as the minutes started to tick by, we were wondering what was taking so long. Joe tried to distract me by playing eye spy with a crazy picture that was hanging next to me. The same picture he asked me to fix right after our SW left, because it was hanging so crocked. Joe also kept messing with a lamp that was on the table next to him. He would plug it in, because he could not find the switch, and I would tell him to unplug it because it was too bright. We did that a couple of times. Every time we could see some one walk past we would sit up straight, then crack up laughing at our self. 23 minutes later our SW came back and said that the birth mom was running late. It turned out she could not find a sitter so she would be bringing her kids with her. *(This is something that I did not share with you before, but yes, she has two small children right now)* About 10 minutes after that our SW came back with the smaller of the two children and lead us down to where everyone else was waiting. I first saw the other child, then the birth mom's SW (who we had not met before) and then I saw her, Our Birth Mom!

This part is really hard for me to write about, because I am really up in the air about how much information I want to share on here, as long as I have it public. So here is what I am willing to share right now and if you have any questions feel free to ask, and if I feel comfortable I will answer your question.

We all sat down and the birth mom got out a folder and put it in front of her on the table. She looked at us and said "I want to tell you about him". I looked at Joe and looked back at her, I wondered if she meant the birth dad, and then she said "Yep, your having a boy. He will be here before Christmas, and here is a picture of your son" and she put the u/s picture in from of us!

I broke down! I started crying so hard, but was able to gather myself quickly. After that everything went really smooth. We knew she wanted to talk to us about baby names so we figured she had something in mind. We were not sure how to handle this situation, but we had been told to be open to what every she might suggest and it's always a nice gesture to offer her the middle name. When she asked if we had any names picked out, we said no. We really did, but we wanted to leave it open to talk about with her. She said OK and offered us her baby name books. So we asked her if she had any ideas and she said "no, it's your kid". We were a little shocked, so we did tell her that we had always liked Alexander. She said she likes more unusual names, but it was really up to us. We did not have a middle name picked out, so we told her she could have the middle name if she had something really special for him. She said she could not think of anything, but she would let us know. We talked for about an hour total. She invited me to her next appointment and we exchanged numbers. I said I would call her the next day and let her know about the appointment.

Joe and I left feeling awesome about everything, and we ran to the store and bought a couple of blue things, and a shirt that says My First Christmas! I can not wait to have Alexander home in just a couple of short weeks!

*Sorry. This post is not as good as I wanted it to be, but I am writing this on Saturday Morning, and I have told the story so many times I know I am starting to leave things out. I may bring more things up about this visit in the future, or you can ask question. :)

Nice to meet you!

Today is the day! In 8 hours we will be meeting our birth mom. I am freaking out, to say the least! I was able to sleep last night, and I am happy about that! I got in bed just before midnight and I fell right asleep. I woke up once when Baxter was banging on the door to be left out, but Joe was sweet enough to get up. When my alarm went off I was sleeping so deep that I did not know where the music was coming from. I always hit the snooze for 10 extra minutes, and I thought I was wide awake and thinking about our big day, but the next thing I knew it was 5 minutes past the time I needed to get up.
Last night I started on the spare room (babies room). Right now there is a futon, desk, night stand, two dog cages, a DVD tower, and tons of junk in there to clean out. I started with my desk/scrapbooking area. This past summer I got this great scrapbooking storage bag (for $15 at Tuesday Morning, love that store), so that has come in handing for putting all (1/10) of my stuff in. I also sorted and threw out a lot. My plan is to get a large rug, or piece of carpet to put in the basement. On that rug or carpet area I would like to have all my scrapbook stuff, plus our file cabinet (another thing that is in the spare room closet). My only concern right now is that our dehumidifier stopped working and I am really worried about my stuff getting ruined in the basement. Our basement is nice, but not finished, and it is a little damp down there. I was thinking as long as my stuff is on a rug, and away from the walls it would be ok until we can get a new dehumidifier or get ours fixed.
I hope to have the room cleared out in the next week so I can paint the walls next weekend. When that is done I will clean the carpet, and then start putting the room together! :) I wish I could do it all in one day!
I also did a load of baby laundry last night! Over the past year I had been making diaper cakes, and other diaper gifts. With that I had a lot of left over baby stuff. I went through everything that I had and took out all the natural stuff for us to use. As I was folding the sleepers, wash clothes, and blankets I was thinking "I love this!". Then I laughed at myself and wondered when the joy of doing baby laundry will wear off!
After we meet with the birth mom tonight we are going to go to the store and buy 1 thing for the baby in either pink or blue! :) A very sweet friend of ours sent us some coupons and I am dieing to us them! After we get home I will start drafting about our meeting, but I am still not sure if it will get posted tonight or tomorrow morning, so hang in there! :) -Jenn

Sleepless nights already?

I had another sleepless night last night! It didn't help that Joe was out of town for work. I never sleep well when he is gone. The boys have a hard time when Joe is not home, and they just stare at the door waiting for him to get home. I like to sleep with the TV on when Joe is not home, but our dish remote, for our bedroom, is not working, so I had that against me too! I tried to fall asleep with a movie on. That worked, but as soon as I fell asleep Baxter started barking. I calmed him down, but I could not calm myself down! My mind started running like crazy again. A few minutes after that Baxter jumped off the bed and wanted out, but I had had enough so I put him in his cage. After that I ended reading my Baby Wise book, in bed for about a half hour and I think I fell asleep around 3am.
Tomorrow is the big day, and I wonder if I will be able to sleep tonight! I think I will be so tired form the last two nights, that I will be out early. I asked my boss if I could get out at 5, so I would have a little while to get ready before we go meet our birth mom at 6. She said yes, then did one better! She said that she will be picking up the kids around two and taking them to a Halloween party at her work, so I will be leaving after that. I am glad. That will give me time to shower, get cleaned up, and maybe even take a nap if I am still not sleeping at night. On the other hand that gives me a lot more time to sit and wait and freak out!
I am over the moon about tomorrow! Baby aside, I am so excited to meet our birth mom. She sounds very sweet. Plus she loves to scrapbook, so I feel like we already have something in common. I hope it goes well, and we are not too nervous. OH BOY!

The Call 8:48pm Oct 26th!

Joe and I were making "take out" Chinese at home. We were almost done but decided it needed a little something else so I ran out to the store. I forgot my phone and after dinner I saw that I had 5 missed calls. 5:48 our friend,5:59 my boss, 6:09 a number I didn't recognise, 6:27 Joe called while I was out, and 6:54 the same number from 6:09. The number that I didn't recognise started with a 2, and I thought it was my bosses cell phone. So I called my boss back and talk to her for a minute. After dinner I was resting on the couch and was watching Joy Ride 2, when I must have fallen asleep. At 8:32 I woke up to Joe holding my ringing phone out to me with the same number as the other two times. I said "work again" and pushed it under the pillow. I started to go back to my nap, but my curiosity got to me, and I called the number back. Imagine my surprise when I got the voicemail of our social worker! I was a little confused when her voicemail said she would be out of the office until Aug 17th. I called a second time to see if I heard it correctly. Here it is the end of October, why would her voicemail still have a message about August? I told Joe I bet her phone was stolen and someone is just calling the numbers in it. So I called it a 3rd time and left a message to call us back. Then for no reason I called it a 4th time! lol At that point I started freaking out and told Joe the only reason she would call us 3 times in one night is because she has a baby that is already born. My heart was pounding out of my chest and Joe blew it off saying "I bet we owe money". Lol Joe! I told him we did not, and that we are getting "the call". What seemed like hours, but was only 3 minutes later, she called us back. I said Hello, and she said Hi in the most casual way! She said she had a question for us, and I thought she must have lost more of our paperwork. Then she said it!!!!!! "How would you like to have a baby by Christmas". As I type this now, I am still in shock! I said something like "Are you kidding?" and told her to hold on while I put it on speaker for Joe, who was sitting next to me. That's when I hung up on her! I opened my phone to do a speaker call, and I think I called her back, but she might have called me. At that point she gave us all the details and said our baby is due December 10th! We talked for 9 min and 56 sec. We also set up our first meeting with our birth mom. It's this Thursday! In just a couple of days! At the time Joe and I were thinking it was Tuesday and that Thursday was just a day away, but later be both realized that it was only Monday, and Thursday now seems days and days away.
As soon as we hung up we hugged, kissed, and he dialed his mom at the same time as I dialed my parents. So I hung up my ringing number, to listen and join in on his call. After two hours of phone calls Joe and I got into bed and could not sleep. We tried watching a movie, reading, talking, not talking, but nothing worked. I think I finally fell asleep some where around 3am. Most week nights I am sleeping by 11:30 or 12. Last nights sleep was nothing great either. I tossed and turned all night. I thought all about our birth mom and all that we had learned about her. I thought about the baby and what it will be like to be a mommy in 7 weeks. I thought about the money that is going to be due. When my alarm finally went off, it was almost a relief. I didn't have to stay in bed and try to sleep any longer.
Today was another day full of joy, excitement, and phone conversations. I had to work today, but it doesn't really feel like I was at work. My head was all baby and I don't think I stopped thinking about our adoption all day. At some points in the day I had to stop and wonder what it was that I was doing. At lunch I remember thinking that I might have skipped a step while making mac and cheese. Turned out I forgot the butter. I was in a daze when I got up too. On my way to work it hit me that I did not remember getting ready for work and I started to wonder if I had put a bra on! I had to feel to make sure I had! I really hope the next seven weeks are not like this! I think I will chill out a little after we meet our birth mom on Thursday.
We don't know what we are having yet, but the birth mom is going to tell us on Thursday! We are flying pretty high right now, and I will have more to post on Thursday! *it might not get posted until Friday*

The Call!

Stay tuned to hear about the call we got last night! :)

Happy Halloween!

The top pumpkin is mine. It's a cat face with a spider on it's forehead. Joe's is the bottom one with a silly face. This was a week ago, and the faces have been chewed off since then. We have the worse luck with animals eating our pumpkins around here.This is a picture from a Halloween party that we went to this weekend. Our friends Cory and Ashley put the party on, and it was a great time. Our friend Sam came up with the idea for us to go as Pac-man and ghost. I spent about a week looking up images online, and this is what I came up with. I made them out of cardboard, duck tape, masking tape, lots of paint, and I used my Cricut to make the perfect circles for the eyes. I would say they turned out pretty cute and were a hit!This is a picture that I have been waiting to be able to take for awhile now. When we had Biskit and Hero they cuddled all the time, but when Biskit passed and Baxter came into the picture it was not the same relationship. The have never cuddled each other, unless we put them next to each other. Well, on Saturday I was cleaning and trying to ready for the party. I brought two blankets up from the dryer and threw them on opposite ends of the couch thinking the boys could each have one. When I came back in the room I found this:
Our t-shirt fundraiser is off to a good start. I would like to thank: My cousin Kayley, two friends from high school Amanda, and Robin, an old friend of Joe's from high school Joy, and Joe's Mom Mary. I am also working on doing a large fundraiser in the spring if we have not been matched before then. I am thinking something like a large party with a band, or a garage sale, we really are not sure yet. In the mean time you can still get t-shirts here: http://www.adoptionbug.com/joeandjennifer/index.htm

adoptionbug.com

Our fundraiser is ready and I am super excited! I think their t-shirts are so nice. When I came across this website back in July, I ordered a t-shirt right away. If you would like to show your pride in your family, or in adoption then you need one of these shirts! :) We will get 30-40% or each t-shirt and we greatly appreciate any and all support! Thanks, Jenn and Joe
http://www.adoptionbug.com/joeandjennifer/index.htm

4 months! Wow

It's been four months since our last home study visit. I can't believe it. It feels like a long time, but it went so fast. I feel like the rest of this year will fly by with all the big holidays. I think our wait will be hardest after the new year, when there is not much going on. I asked Joe when he feels like we will get a match and he said there is no way of knowing. I told him he must have a feeling in his heart, and he said next spring. I think he only said that because he has been hearing me say spring. When we got started at the beginning of this year they were doing a lot of matches. Then in the spring they cleared out their waiting pool. They said that spring is always their busy time, and summers tend to be slow. Strange that adoption has a busy time!

This weekend we did our favorite fall activity. We went to the local farmers markets. We were disappointed to see that some of our favorite veggies were done. We could not get any green beans or corn on the cob. We did get pears, potatoes, cabbage, and our pumpkins.

Because fall is our favorite season we have always talked about how fun it will be to bring our kids to all the farms markets and pumpkin patches. It was hard yesterday seeing all the family's, but Joe just reminded me that next year we will have our child with us, and we will have a life time to have fall fun with them. In past years we had gone to a couple of family themed pumpkin patches, but this year we decided to skip those ones and wait until we have our child.

We also worked on our costumes this weekend. I am making Joe's, mine, and our friend Sam's. It is a group costume. I will post pictures next week after we show them off at our friends Halloween Party.

We had a great time Friday night. We went to see a band that we love, and we got to hang out with some great people. After the show we got home and got in bed to watch a movie. We had to pause it after a few minutes to let the boys out, and just as Joe unpaused it we heard the boys barking. Joe paused it again and said "that sounds different". I said it did and I hoped they didn't find skunks again. A few minutes later Joe went to let the boys in and I heard "Oh no, Oh man, JENN!" Sure enough, they got sprayed. This is Hero's first time and he is 2, but this is Baxter's 2nd time and he is not even 1! He put Hero in the bath and I got online to see what we could use to wash it off. We had used up all our tomato juice the last time Baxter got sprayed. I found something that said baking powder, peroxide, and dish soap would work, but I didn't have have peroxide so we just used what we had. It worked ok on Hero, but he didn't get sprayed very bad. I think the smell was just on him because he was outside when it happened. Baxter on the other hand was bad! I think he must have walked up to the skunk and asked for more. It was so bad that I gaged when Joe brought him in the house, and my eyes were watering so bad that I started to cry. I ended up having to close myself into our bedroom and just waited. I could not help Joe clean him up. After his bath Joe put him right in his cage. We tried to finish our movie, but I could still smell it really strong, so I put Vapor-rub up my nose. Nothing worked, but I did end up falling asleep. I had a really bad headache the next day, and I wondered if it was from the bad skunk smell in our house. The smell is going away now, but I still get whiffs of it here and there. Gross!

Little updates.

A few updates:

We will be doing a fundraiser soon. We have talked about doing one, but we were not sure what to do. We threw around a few ideas, and then set the whole thing aside. I came across Adoption Bug T-shirts back in July and just love them. Last month I found out that they were going to be setting up fundraiser pages for families in the process of adopting. How it works is this: Our family and friends (and strangers I guess) can go to our web store on the adoption bug website, and there you will have 4 t-shirt options, related to adoption, to choose from. 30 -40% of the sales go to our adoption. When we get our placement we let adoption bug know, and they send a check of all the money we have raised straight to our agency. I will let you know when it is up and going, and will have the link posted here as well as a few other places. It will be up in the next week or two. I am really excited about this, and I think that the T-shirts are really cool.

Our agency has decided to go "big time" (just kidding), but they are adding a page on their website with pictures and the profiles of all of their waiting families (like us). I am not sure how I will go about sharing that with people. I like to keep my blog semi-private. I wasn't going to give out our last names, the town we live in, or who our agency is, so I guess I will not be posting the link to that. I do want to share it with our friends and family though, so maybe I will send it out in an email. I was pretty excited this week when I got the information for that in the mail. Who knows, maybe it will help us to place faster! Who could say no to our cute faces? :) When I asked Joe to help me fill out the paperwork he said "I thought you said we were done". I guess in adoption, you are never really done!

My plan for this weekend is to repaint the spare room. I took a look at it last night and it's looking pretty bad. I think I must have bought whatever was cheapest last time I painted, and only did one coat. It's really not a very good paint job. It's probably because of all the work we had to do before we could paint. That room had very old wallpaper in it, and the walls had been trashed by the three little boys that shared it. Yep, 3 little boys all in one little bedroom. I think the room is 12 by 12 maybe. I am not even sure how a family of 5 lived in our house. Everyday I think about how I am going to make it work with only 1 little one. Anyway, I was probably so tired after prepping the room that I did a lazy job painting it.

Speaking of lazy, I have been so tired. I work 47-50 hours a week as a nanny. Some may say that I don't have a hard job, and some times I think it is pretty easy, but other times it is really hard. I care for 3 kids, ages 5, 3, and 1, plus I do a lot of house work. I have been wondering how I am going to add one more to the mix, and how I am going to have the energy. Last night when I got home from work I was so tired. I ate some dinner from the microwave, and then sat in a chair and rested my eyes while I half watched TV. As I was going in and out of sleep I was wondering (what would I do if I have a baby here). I get about 7 hours of sleep a night now. Is that enough? I don't feel like it is, but I think it is suppose to be enough. I've been thinking about going to the Doctor to see if there is a reason why I am so tired all the time. I have a couple of theory's of my own. One is that I am unhealthy and maybe it's the bad food that I eat that makes me so tired. Another is that I let my two dogs sleep in bed with me, and they move around a lot and tend to wake me up, so I am not getting a good nights sleep. The other is that I may have something else going on. I have never felt rested after a nights sleep and wonder if it is something else.

Love my husband!

Last night I was treated to a very yummy dinner when I got home! It was my favorite dinner and the first dinner Joe had made for me almost seven years ago! It was lemon, mushrooms and chicken in a cream sauce, cheesy potato's, steamed asparagus, and bread sticks! Yum! The first time Joe made me is special "lemon chicken" I remember getting the leftovers out of the fridge about every hour until I had eaten them all! It is so good. You can never go wrong with Joe's cheesy potatoes, and steamed asparagus has become a favorite of ours over time. Joe even did bread sticks just for me (he prefers garlic toast). He also picked up some wine, but neither of us ended up liking it.

We got each other little gifts. I got him his favorite magazine, a coffee table book about love that I wrote a couple of special notes in, and 2 large bars of dark chocolate. He got me a very nice frame that has a quote about marriage in it, and a book. The book is called When two become three, and it is about keeping your marriage strong after adding a baby. I thought that was a very thoughtful gift. It really touched my heart to get that.

After dinner we had a nice night together. In past years we would watch our wedding DVD, but some how we forgot last night. I think we forgot because it got late too fast. I worked all day and by the time we ate the big dinner and watched our shows, it was time for bed. We will watch it soon. I just watched some of it a few nights ago anyways.

So now onto our 4th year of marriage, and what looks like, the last year that it will be just the two of us!

3 years ago!

Three years ago I woke up very tired, but extremely excited. I had stayed up way to late the night before, and had a huge day ahead of me. I woke up to an empty hotel room and started to panic! What was I doing here all alone, why was there no one here with me? I called to make sure Joe was not around and I took off for the car. It was cold and I was running late. When I turned the car on I found a little red light on. I started to cry, and thought, not today! I called a friend and found out that it was just low tire pressure because of the cold. I drove to my parents house, and that seemed like it was hours away. As I sat and had my hair done up, I kept thinking I was getting further and further off, on the time. I was sure I was runny so late. When I finally got to the church it was like James Bond trying to get me inside without Joe seeing me. I did see him. After crying whiling having my make up done, it was time for the dress. As the girls zipped it up, I kept yelling "it won't zip, it won't zip". It went on just fine! When I was already I started screaming for them to start. It was 2:15 and I could not believe my wedding was starting late. Turned out my wedding was at 3 and I was ready for pictures! We took a few pictures, and then stood around waiting forever! When it was time for my dad to walk to down, I forgot how to breathe. I was shaking and breathing so fast the whole church noticed. During the whole wedding I could not stop nervously giggling. After the wedding when we walked outside to the bubbles, sunshine, and wonderful fall colors I was in heaven, and forgot all about how nervous I had been. I was married to my best friend and our favorite season had provided us with the most beautiful day!
The reception was at a castle about 30 minutes away, and we had a fun ride there. When we got there we did our wedding party pictures, and then the party started. The reception was great minus a few minor hiccups, like a groomsmen leaving early, reception crashers, and a crazy DJ. Joe surprised everyone when he hid right before our first dance was to start. I stood on the dance floor looking confused when the music started to play and then Joe walked out from behind a curtain and he was singing the song to me. It was so wonderful and I still cry when I watch that part! The night ended with music and lots of dancing and us surrounded by all of our family and friends! What a wonderful day that was 3 years ago!

Ask and you shall receive!

We have it! 3 months and 2 weeks after our last visit, and we have our completed home study! Or adoptive family assessment, as they call it. I got home from work at 5pm, on Saturday and the first thing I did was get the mail. I saw the large manila envelope and I thought "what is that?". I thought it was junk mail. Nope! It was our life and relationship wrapped up into 15 pages! I quickly sat down to read through it. (It did not hit me until after I had read it, that Joe might have wanted me to wait for him. But it was too late, I had already read it. He did not say anything about me waiting when he got home, so I was happy about that. Besides, we can't both read it at the same time.......or not very well.) The first thing that hit me was all the typos! She said she had given it to her supervisor to read over too, so I would think the two of them would have found some of them. Maybe she will catch them the next time she reads it, or maybe the birth mom's social worker will see them. The second thing was the mistakes that were not grammar based! The first time she talks about my mom, she has the wrong name down. The second time she is mentioned, it's the right name. Then there is my story. She has gotten the ages of events in my life all mixed up. She says my mom left when I was 4, then 7. She says my parents divorced when I was 9, but that my dad remarried when I was 7! That's not right......unless my dad had two wives for a few years, which I am pretty sure he did not! lol There were a few other things, but over all Joe and I have decided to call it good! As far as the names go, all of those are taken out before any potential birth mom would even see it. With all the dates, and ages, I just figure none of that really matters either. The main points are there, so I guess who cares if they are in the right order, or at the right times! Right? Besides, it took long enough to get this paperwork done! The last thing I want to do is send it back all highlighted and ask for it to be rewritten. Not to mention, there is no way I want to insult the lady who holds the future of our family in her hands! So, now I guess we REALLY are WAITING!

Oh, and I turned my scrapbook in! Can you believe it? It's done and turned in! I officially have nothing else to do but to wait, and save!