Some days are fine, and some days I am consumed by our foster situation! I would say we get 3 days a week to ourselves. No phone calls, no visits, no appointments, and so on. The other four days can be draining!
I wonder how, or why people foster! We had looked into being foster parents in our first year of marriage, and for a few different reasons ended up not doing it. Now we are doing it because we were called and asked to take the kids and we felt it was what we were "called" to do. Not only for them, but for Alex, and for us! During the first two weeks, I wanted to run in the opposite direction and never look back! Not only were we new to foster care, first time foster parents, but all three of our kids ended up with the flu, all in the first week and a half that we had them. It ended up taking about a month to get everyone 100% healthy. On top of that was one of the kids birthday's and Easter. Things were hard! They still are! Now it's hard in a different way.
There are days we wonder if our situation makes it harder. These are our sons siblings! This is the woman who gave birth to our son! There is a tie there that can not be denied! Sadly we may never know the answer to that, because, at this time, we have both desided that we will not be doing foster care after Alex's siblings! Whatever the outcome of these children, it does not feel like something we are ment to do! It's hard to admit, and sad to face, but it truely does consume you!
There are nights I sit in bed wondering for hours what is going to happen to these little children. I have had bad dreams about their birthparents. Last night someone came to our house at 11:45pm, while I was asleep and Joe was reading in bed, and rang the door bell. We both jumped up in shock and rushed to the door to see who it could be. By the time we got to the peep hole all we could see was a girl in a red car backing out of our driveway. Wrong house, maybe, but all I could do is fear that someone was trying to get to the kids! It's sad, but true! It took me a long time to fall back asleep, and even in the morning I was still a little shaken.
The children have been with us 14 weeks now, and every day we are growing closer and closer to them! 14 weeks doesn't seem that long, but it feels like they have been here so much longer.
We have court again in 2 weeks. Part of me wants to skip it! Last time it was heart wrenching and I was an emotional mess after, but the "controlling" part of me wants to be there so I can have all of the most current information.
If there are any other foster parents that read this, please feel free to leave me a commnet letting me know how you go about your life without letting it consume you. Or if you can direct me to a post that has already been writen about this, that would be wonderful too!
Yes, foster care can feel like it consumes you. I have found that taking time out for me (trip alone to the store, church event, outing with friends) without any kids refreshes me. I also have to be "in control". I gather as much info as I can and try to attend every court hearing, depsite the drama. Then I try to offer suggestions where appropriate if I can tell something needs to or is going to change anyway. Otherwise, I tell the numerous visitors ahead of time when I am available, 2-3 choices, and they need to fit in those timeframes. With multiple children and a job, I can't be available at their beck and call. They need to plan ahead too. Check out Foster Fridays at http://tamlynn75random.blogspot.com/p/foster-fridays.html and come back next week when the post is about stress.
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