Home Study, CHECK!

Six weeks of cleaning for that?

Our social worker was due to show up at 5:45, but I know she tends to run late. We were ready for her at 5:15 and that last half hour was torture! Luckily, she was on time. It was hard to sit still and I kept moving from room to room, just looking to make sure everything was in it's place. I also kept yelling out "Where is she", I guess I get turets when I am nervous. By the time she pulled in we were sitting in the spare bedroom. This seemed weird since there is no TV in there, and no reason for us to be sitting in there so I told Joe we needed to move out into the living room, but I didn't want her to see us coming out of there. As I slipped out I saw her getting out of her van, and figured it was too late to go sit down in the living room, and I should greet her at the door. Joe yelled out from behind me, something about not going to the door already. He was right. I found myself just standing there holding the door open while she climbed out of her van and walked the 20 or more steps up to the door. It felt like I was standing there for an hour! It didn't get any more comfortable after that. There I stood holding the door open and as she walked up I was waiting for her to grab the door so I could let go, but she didn't. She just slipped in, past me, leaving me to hold the door open, from the inside. It felt strange! She came in and said "your house is so cute and fun"!!!! Fun? I almost laughed. Fun is an odd way to describe a house. Unless it is a fun house! Later Joe and I figured out what she meant by "fun". She meant fun-sized, like those tiny candy bars you get at Halloween. Yep! She figured it out after being at our house for one minute. Our house is small!

After that she sat right down in the first chair she saw. I sat on the couch with Joe, after letting the dogs in from the backyard. The boys greeted her with lots of barking, some licking, and a few nibbles on the hand (from Baxter). She seemed to really like them. She asked their names, and ages. She also asked if they were good with kids. Of course we said yes. Then she asked if we had any plans for the summer. Joe said "No", and I said "Yes". I explained that we were taking a week off in July and spending time with family.

She asked if we had any questions, and Joe put me on the spot! He said "I'm sure Jenn has tons of questions". Nice Joe! I wanted to hit him, but I didn't want to look like an abuser. I didn't have a single question. She on the other hand, got excited, and said "ask away". Crap! So I asked what happens now, now that our home study is done. She went on to tell us that she will write up our home study report, and we wait. She said she would send out a news letter once a month, and if I needed to check in I was always welcome to call or email her. Then Joe reminded me that I wanted to show her my scrapbook. It's not done yet, but pretty close, and I wanted to see if she thought it needed anything else. She looked through it, and seemed to think we had everything covered. I think she said something about it showing who we are. While she looked at our book, I sat next to her, and looked at the paper she had been writing notes on. It said: (Baxter 8 months, Hero 2, Good with kids. Summer plans, No (the no was crossed out) spending time with family.) I thought there would be more, but there wasn't. That's all it said.

After that she asked for the tour. Which is funny because you could almost see our whole "fun house" from where she was sitting. I went straight for the spare room/baby room, but Joe wanted to show her the room we were in. That felt strange! So there I was standing in the spare room saying "this is the spare room" and Joe and our social worker were still in the living room, and I could hear Joe saying "this is the living room". I hate giving tours of our house! It seems so silly to walk into the kitchen and say "this is the kitchen", but it might seem even more crazy if you were to say nothing. So, I missed the tour of the living room, but I did hear her say that she liked the way it was decorated.

A minute later they met me in the spare room. She seemed to like the yellow, and she stood for a few minutes looking at Joe's movie collection. She said she would not be renting from Blockbuster anymore. Hahaha. She asked how many times Joe has watched a single movie. We told her Joe has seen Karate Kid at least 50 times, which is true. I told her about my plans for the room. If we get a boy I am painting a light green stripe around the room, or purple for a girl. She said I had it all figured out. I told her that I've had a couple of years to think about it. (all of it felt dumb to say after I said it).

On to our bedroom. I don't remember what was said in this room. I just remember saying something about why there was a computer in our bedroom. When I give tours of our house I feel like I need to explain everything that might seem weird to someone else coming in. Like she might be thinking (why do they have their computer in their bedroom). So I told her that it used to be in the spare room, but we were starting to clear that room for the baby.

On to the kitchen. She asked if we redid it. It does look pretty nice, if you ask me. I told her that I had painted each room, and how I had to take all the wall paper down in each room.

Then I turned on the bathroom light so she could take a look at our closet sized bath room. I made a comment that the bathroom has been redone twice, and that it is easy to paint because it is so small. That way she would know that we realize how small it is, and that it is ok if that is what she is thinking. She said that was another thing she learned about me, that I liked to decorate. I was glad she knew that because I had not told her that, but it was something about me.

On to the basement. She went straight for Joe's collection of horror film action figures. Joe had warned her about these during his visit. She said it was not as bad as she thought, and that they were all pretty small. Then we did a loop around the basement and I told her it was all storage. She confirmed that that is what basements are for.

After that we went out back. The highlight of our house, I think. We have a good size backyard with lots of trees, plants, flowers, and such. She seemed to like this right away, but didn't walk to far out. She was watching for dog droppings, and when I saw what she was doing, I was so glad! I would have died if she would have stepped in a big pile! I wanted to do a poop pick up before she came, but it had been raining every night. She said it was big for a city yard, which it is. We smelled some flowers that were on a bush next to the house. She asked what it was and I had no idea. Then we went back in. On the way in she asked how long we had been there. I told her four years, and wondered what made her think to ask that.

Before she came I told Joe not to say anything negative about the house. I didn't want to put anything in her head, that she might not have thought of. Joe said ok, but he did want to mention that we would be moving in the next few years, so she wouldn't think we were staying in this "fun house" forever. So when we were walking in Joe told her about our move.

On the way back to her seat she grabbed a cookie, and so did Joe. I also grabbed one, and sat in the rocking chair. A second later I got up and moved to the couch. The rocking chair felt super far away from her, and so I had to move a little closer.

Right away Baxter jumped into her lap and tried to eat her cookie! Oh Gezz. She shared a few sprinkles with him, and that seemed like a green light to him. I'm pretty sure he got a bite as I pulled him away. Then he tried to eat my cookie so I handed him off to Joe, who was done.

That's when my favorite part of the whole visit happened! I'm still laughing about it today! The night before our visit I asked Joe to stop at the store and get fresh flowers for our kitchen table, and some cookies "that looked homemade". During our classes the other social worker mentioned that when our social worker comes to our house, it always helps to have some kind of food. Of course I remembered this, but I am no baker. So Joe got said flowers, and cookies. So as we are eating them Joe says "Jenn I think you might have put on too many sprinkles"! OMG! I could have cracked up right there. Boy, he really wanted to give the idea that I'm Betty homemaker! lol Too funny.

After that we talked a little more, but mostly we watched the dogs play. She said she felt bad that she didn't have more to ask us. We had covered everything in the first 3 meetings, so basically she just needed to see the house. We did talk about the wait. I asked her how people survive the wait. She said everyone does it differently and she gave us a few ideas. She confirmed how many families are waiting. She said two of the families have been waiting for a year each. This really bothered Joe. I know it could happen to us too, but I have hope that it won't. She also talked about the birth moms that they have right now. She said they have one due in August but it would not be the right match for us. She said there is another due in September, but the girls mom really wants her to keep it, so she is not sure about that one. I mentioned that we would really love to have a baby by Christmas, and she said "You don't want a Christmas baby". I wanted to say "Are you crazy? We have been waiting a long time and would love to have a baby at any time of the year, or at any holiday! Who cares when it is born!". But I didn't. I said we would love to have a baby to bring to Christmas, so anytime between now and then would be great. She laughed and said she would put in our order! lol She has a good sense of humor like that. I was just glad to put the idea in her head! :) After a little more talking, she got on the floor and played with the dogs for a minute. She really liked Baxter. And then she left.

Joe and I talked for a couple minutes after she left, and then we took ourselves out to dinner to celebrate.

At the restaurant I asked Joe how he was feeling and he said ok. I told him that instead of being happy or excited that I was really sad! It was not what I was expecting, but after she left I felt really sad. It was like the excitement of everything we had done for the last six months was over and we were left with nothing. Just the idea that we will get a baby some time in the next year! Yuck! Not the feeling I was hoping for. I had really high hopes for us before our meeting, but when she said that some families wait for over a year it just seemed so sad, and then it really hit me that it could happen to us. I tired to make it seem ok, and I even said to Joe that it would be ok if our baby came to us in the spring. But really we both know that it would not be ok. We really want it to happen much sooner! Like now!

Now here we are WAITING. I have to finish up my scrapbook, and Joe needs to write our birth mom letter, but other than that we have nothing else to do for our adoption. hmmmm seems sad.

I will continue to write postings on here. I plan to write an update at least once a week, so you can see how our wait it going. But for now that it. :)