Lets just throw all the plans out the window!

I knew it! I think I can really read people well! B-mom told me that there was a chance that she was going to have the baby an hour south of here, but she would still "try" to get to our town first. Then today she confirmed that there is no chance that she is going to have the baby in our town! She cancelled next weeks appointment which was in our town, and rescheduled two last appointments in her town. She said I could come down there for those appointments "or she can just call me after" hint hint. I don't think she wants me there. She is also checking with the hospital there to see if they will have a room for us, but I get the feeling that she doesn't want us staying there. I bet she is not checking at all, and is just going to say that they can't do that. Not to mention, it is our social workers that are suppose to be doing all that. She has also changed her mind, and said that we can not have any friends or family at the hospital! At this point I just want to be done with b-mom, and just plan to be there when the baby is discharged so we can take him home! I am so sick of everything changing! I do not do well with all this chaos! This whole deal is crazy enough as it is. I just wish we could have a set plan and keep it that way!

It makes me wonder if she will even call us in time for us to drive down there to be there to see the baby be born! Man this sucks! I was feeling so good about everything for the past month, but as we come down to the last two weeks, I am a mess. On top of that I don't feel like I can talk to any family or friends about my feelings because I don't want them to have any doubts about the adoption.

Update: That was a hard day for me! I am feeling much better now. In fact, it was I that was asking for a birth plan, and so I can not be surprised that things have changed, now that they have sat down and gone over everything. I am OK with Joe and I being the only ones at the hospital, and I am fine with it happening in another town. I just pray that we will get there in time. I was really upset with b-mom that day, but have talked to her since and I am feeling much better. I am still a little guarded, and I do not have my hopes up about things. If I get to be there when he is born that will be wonderful, but if I don't see him until I take him home, that is OK too!
I will talk to b-mom later today (Tuesday) after her check up. I can't wait to hear what she has to say, yet I am sure it will be nothing big. Probably just that everything still looks good, and she might have gained a pound or two. This morning my alarm went off on my phone. The alarm that I wake up to is the same song that is my ring tone. Well I silenced it, like I always do, and while I was waiting for it to go off again five minutes later, my mind started to wonder. I started to wonder if it wasn't my alarm, but really it was b-mom calling to tell me it was time! lol I even had to pull my phone out from under my pillow to make sure it didn't say "1 missed call". As I laid there waiting for the next alarm to go off I thought about how I really need to change the alarm song to something else!
I will have another post tonight, with pictures! :)